Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Corsarius: Self-Advisor

Might as well put a marker below it: Since May 10, 2005.

Credit a close friend for this remarkable career choice of mine. The friend gave me as a birthday gift some sort of "Today's Advice" poster which neatly presents more than a hundred pieces of 'advice' in tabular form. The instructions say: "Close your eyes (no cheating!), turn around, and then point at this poster and follow the advice your finger lands on!"

Certainly for idiots and the cheesy-types. But then the Corsarius is prone to moronic and yummy-cheesy tendencies from time to time, so forgive me if I indulged myself with this self-advice poster. And guess what? It sure is one treasure trove worthy of a corsair! Here are some jewels for your perusal:

June 23: "Don't be Late"

My 10AM classes always suffer from my delinquence. Grooming myself takes about half an hour; the trip from Mabuhay Rotonda to UP Diliman is another 30 minutes. And I wake up at 9:30AM.

Solution? Ride a taxi. The catch? A hundred pesos down the drain.

My wallet goes kaput.

July 1: "Expect a Miracle"

Downstairs in the backyard, I know my favorite dog lies dying. But with this advice nagging at my mind, I hurry to the yard. Tough luck; the dog is still sprawled on the ground. Bleeding. Dying. I turn my back on him.

Suddenly, our maid lets out a cry. I swiftly turn around. Lo and behold, the dog is trying to sit up! He looks at me with glassy eyes, as if pleading for help. I rush and force-feed him another dose of medicines and nourishment.

Minutes later, our dog throws up all of his medicine and sustenance.

The next day, he is dead.

June 11: "Be Gentle"

Don't tell me I'm going to do it with an untouched lass. Uh, come again? Ah. So that's what the advice really means. Sorry for my greener-than-the-greenest-grass-and-greener-than-yours mind. But before you throw me out of my own blog for this overly "male chauvinist pig" paragraph, here's a last advice --

July 19: "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

15 Comments:

Blogger >|' ; '| said...

i think this shud be the motto for mankind -->

" dont sweat the small stuff.
everything IS small stuff. "

this aint original. i read it somewhere b4 ;)

10:54 PM  
Blogger ia said...

"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" is one of the few self-help books memorable to me. Our adviser in third year high school would use Homeroom to read one of the passages to us. I miss Mimi (Ma'am Cristina Bawagan). :D Such an OC teacher.

Perhaps that quote came from this book.

Teka, anong nangyari nung June 11? LOL

Ne, pieces of advice is the grammatically correct plural of the word advice. (I just love to kill people with that, don't I?)

11:20 PM  
Blogger transience said...

i love the last. and though i've never indulged myself with a self-help book (i am beyond redemption), i like how you don't sweat it. you're cool. i'm glad we're tight like that.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Abaniko said...

With all sorts of academic pressure among other things that hound you like a bad dream in UP, your last advice is indeed invaluable. Now, I'm overcome with nostalgia.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to poison: i'll keep that quotable quote in mind. it'll prove to be useful in some situations, i think :)

to ia: haven't read that book. do you have a copy of it? btw, no desecration of the innocents occurred on june 11. swear! :p

to transience: uh-huh. i do sweat it from time to time. di ko lang pinapahalata, hehe. ;) well dear, corsairs should be cool..as far as I'm concerned.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to abaniko: UP alumnus? :) well, it's an advice many people usually dismiss. including me, hehe.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous hera said...

be gentle. i like that. there's so much strength in gentleness.

of course i didn't see the advise the way you did. but then you ruined it for me. :P

1:44 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to hera: i'm so sorry! me bad.. :p

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

waaaaaaaa!

may ganito roommate ko dati, pinaglalaruan namin. :)

oist, request naman po..pwede gumamamit ka ng haloscan for comments? hirap kasi mag-comment eh, wala ako blogger account. :(

(sorry for being demanding)

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ayan, nakalimutan ko tuloy pangalan ko...si light pala ito =)

ngapala, kung punta man akong soli night, di ko naman malalaman sino ka don noh.

-light ulit-

11:35 PM  
Anonymous drakulita said...

:(

I was given two puppies around this time last year... after a couple of months of spending lots of cuddling time with me, they died on separate accounts.

Waaaaaaaaah....I miss my pups. :(

Ang sad.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to light: no prob, i'll try to implement haloscan here, though i've grown accustomed to the default commenting system of blogger, hehe ;) btw, baka di din kami magtagal sa Writer's Night..we have a big acad deadline the next day, and we are cramming, hehe.

to drakulita: damn, that hurts. condolences. :(

12:39 AM  
Blogger Steve Austin said...

I like yuor blog. Please check out my dog training collar blog.

8:52 PM  
Blogger jon said...

I was searching for maltese dog info and found this post. I agree totally!

Paul

6:17 PM  
Blogger Roy Naka said...

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5:47 PM  

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