Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Fall

Gaze out of the window and into the moonlit night. Forget the boyfriend who left for another girl, forget the university which kicked you out, forget the parents who left each other and you as well. Forget them all; while away your grief by gazing at the abandoned building across the street. Stare at its dark windows like black holes, consuming the silver light and giving off none. Gaze into those cavities. And see — there she is, the teen-aged girl standing by a third-floor window, her white nightgown a beacon in the shadows. She’s peering over the street, staring at your house, looking at you. She disappears; a minute later, you see a white blur on the rooftop, see it fall off the edge, see the girl plummet to the ground.

Leave the house in your bedtime dress. Cross the street, enter the forsaken edifice, satisfy your curiosity. Go up the floors, stop at the third. Take hurried steps, then more, knowing that each one brings you closer to her. Enter a room — she’s not there. Look out of the window, see your house across the street. Leave the room, go upstairs, up to the rooftop.

There she is — see the white-dressed girl fall off the edge, run to her, run run run, run to the edge, trip over a jutting piece of tile, and fall off the edge, fall, plummet to the ground as a teen-aged girl in her white nightgown, a wishing star blazing through the moonlit night.

[I think I wrote this one a long long time ago for a sudden fiction writing contest (max 250 words). Of course, I lost. Harhar.]


Blogger transience said...

i don't care what some contest judges say. this was a beaut. and i always root for the underdog.

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ang ganda kaya!


12:13 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

oh yeah the commenting system now works! ::glad:: anyway...

to transience: thanks, that means a lot to me dearie :D although when a friend consoled me, she told me i lost because i didn't follow the theme, which was supposed to be 'supernatural'. hehe.

to kai: napadaan ka ulit! salamat! mishyu! (oy, where's my korean *movies*? LOL!) :D

1:04 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:04 PM  
Blogger transience said...

corsarius, you know what i will say to this: screw themes.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to transience: amen to that ^_^ (ah. what a sore loser am I, haha.)

2:47 AM  
Blogger lovedoghell said...

Lovely use of imagery. Nice. THanks for posting it.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

inatake ako ng katamaran. sa birthday mo na lang. hay kimps, may kwento ako sayo.


8:33 PM  
Blogger ia said...

Hmmm.... wasn't it even a bit too tough trying to be a girl?

Oh, wait. Was it?


I liked this. Maybe, it didn't completely fall under the theme. Or maybe I wouldn't know. I've haven't really been scared by the normally eerie things.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to hj: man, i should be the one thanking you, hehe. btw, thanks for dropping by :D

to kai: hm? did you already write about it in your LJ? or is it super-secret stuff, na sa akin lang pwede sabihin? naks (ngek). :) take care!

to ia: hmph. :P oh well. tweety liked it, jael liked it, you liked it. makes me feel good. i miss writing in the second person POV. oh, wait. i miss writing sudden fiction.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Mavi said...

Ack! You joined that contest too? Yaaaaaagh! Eliminate the competition!

Anyway, I realy like that piece. You have written that one in Logscript, right? Reading that still gives me shivers, even now. Creepy!

12:42 AM  
Anonymous Kai said...

eh 'di yun gaya ng dati =P mga hardcore issues. hahaha. :)

ay, may gusto akong ibigay sayo na taiwanese movie. basta. astig. :) sana magkita tayo soon!

10:22 PM  
Blogger Free Spirit said...

Nice and tragic. Keep writing. =)

5:25 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to mavi: haha! :D actually, i was with jael teehankee when i submitted my entry. i think hers was about a "Blind" man. quite freaky, too. i was surprised she didn't win. and yes, that piece was published in Logscript, along with mine.

to kai: taiwanese? ::nyahaha:: yup. hope to see you soon! ingatz. :P

to FreeSpirit: hey, thank you very much... :D

11:04 PM  
Blogger kuya said...

i see that you posted this fifteen minutes after midnight. wooohhh...
[then i remember the chippy ad]

this does not scare me. but the image hunts me. [then i remember my ex. --> i never did something 'wrong' to her]

1:55 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

[quite a late reply]

to jonas: nyahaha. 'chippy' ad. and yes, i wrote this one into the wee hours of the night...

on the cbox, abster said: "abster: WoW...that is quite a story. Galing!" Thanks po! :D

2:23 AM  
Blogger janny said...

nice artik, too poetic for a fiction ;)..reminds me of the film Virgin Suicides..

3:09 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to janny: thanks :) hm, i think i haven't heard of that film..

11:46 PM  

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