Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Jupiter Falls Reloaded

[Note: This is for my CW 198 online writing exercise (a single event told through different POVs). Classmates, welcome to my blog. Blog friends, enjoy if you do read these fictional accounts. Some lines here are in my native language, Tagalog. Warning: Explicit language! Explicit-ness slightly toned down by explicit asterisks.]

When Jupiter Falls Four Times

I. The 130-Pound Runt

(Read this part first: the original Jupiter Falls.)

II. The FX Driver

This is not my lucky day.

Passengers are nowhere to be found. I get two, and one of them is a Sumo wrestler! Sheer misery. I think I'm going to mourn for a car tire later. Malulugi pa ata ako nito e!

Everything about this day is bad. From the MMDA buwayas to that disrespectful street vendor, everything! And see -- look at the thunder and lightning. A storm's coming. Have storm, have classes suspended. Have work suspended, too. Have earnings, not!

We pass by Sto. Domingo Church. My right hand leaves the steering wheel to touch my old crucifix hanging from the rearview mirror. Lord, help me. I just want to have this day crossed off the calendar.


Ayos! My prayers have been answered. I slowly step on the brakes, and ease the FX onto the sidewalk. I eagerly whirl around to see the Sumo wrester finally get off!

But horror of horrors -- it's just the other passenger, the thin one who has been sitted beside Sumo all trip long. A disgusted look creases his face as he gets out of the taxi. I want to offer him my sympathies, but he slams the door before I'm able to. No worries, I'm not angry at the kid. But for Mr. Sumo here...

I fix an angry stare at him.

"Punyeta. Baket di na lang ikaw ang bumaba? Bakeeet?!"

Sumo snores.

III. The Fat Guy


IV. The Street Vendor

F*ck this world. If robbery wasn't a crime, I'd have done it. If suicide wasn't a sin, I'd have recommended it to Ipe and Johnno. (Useless tambays. At least I'm out here on the road from dusk 'til dawn.) Hell, you think I'd commit suicide? I won't trade getting laid with the sampaguita girl for hell. Hell no! Heben na nga, magiging impyerno pa.

Speaking of the girl, here's Inyang. "Hoy, 'lika nga dito! Malapit nang mag stop light. Baka di ka makabenta nyan -- kelangan ko pang bumili ng supot!" Why, you thought jologs didn't use condoms? Sosi ata 'to.

Awright, red light. The cars begin to pile up, heh, line up, I mean. Dammit, I love Quezon Av when it's not movin'. Every single driver needs five of my precious rags. Keeps their cars sparklin', keeps their manubelas steerin', keeps their kambyos shiftin'. Now, if only they knew that. Discounted na nga e!

Inyang slithers to a Ford Expedition. As for me, this FX taxi looks good. F*ck, the driver's even pulling out his cash. Jackpot!

I stick my handsome face on the window, and peer inside. Holi syet. That's a thick wad he's holding. All red paper bills! (Ipe told me it's not red, but pink. To hell with him. Si Osmeña, pink? Ano sya, bading?)

I tap on the window. "Bosing, basahan! Piso tatlo," I shout, heh, say. My eyes zip around the FX. Malay mo, may tsiks. But there's none. The only sight worth noting is a baboy, heh, fat guy squashing a scrawny dude against the car door. But even then, it's a ridiculous sight, not the sexy sight I was hoping to see.

Uh-huh. The driver's still not paying attention to me. I give the window a sharp, heh, soft rap. "Bos, basahan! Murang mura lang!"

Aba aba aba, dedma pa rin ang loko. I give his window a furious rappity-rappity-tap-tap-tap. "Bos, basahan! Pampunas ng mukha mo!"

The driver suddenly jerks to action. I step back as he opens the window and shouts something to my face. Thunder masks his words, so I don't hear him. But his angry face seems to be expecting something. I go, "Eh...", accompanied with my charismatic smile.

And he goes KABOOM! He curses my mother (no harm there, I know she's a b*tch), curses me, curses our whole lot of squatters, everyone! It's actually funny, but I do skitter away when he begins to open the car door.

Just before the light turns green, I hear him shout, "Gago ka!" Then in a flash the cars are gone. "Gago ka din!" I shout after the dust and smoke.

F*ck. I hate it when Quezon Av gets movin'. No chance for money now.

I stare at the vacant road, interrupted when a lightning bolt streaks down from the skies. Weird color -- gold? Gold lightning. Whoa.

I give the skies the dirty finger.

Gago! Magkakaron din ako nyan!