Sunday, November 06, 2005

Deviations

[Note: This is a piece of fiction. Sometimes, a writer needs to challenge the readers' sensibilities (challenge, not offend). Otherwise he's a spineless writer. If you don't like pieces which aren't 'goody-goody', please skip this post. My next one's going to be tamer. Thank you, people.]

Sacred Vestments

Beatrice isn't one for Sunday dresses. She'd always show up for her uncle's masses in a black spaghetti-strap blouse which showed off her pierced navel, and a skirt three-fourths of a ruler above the knee. It made her mom furious, and her dad slightly amused.

This Sunday, in an unlit confessional box, she rips open a package given earlier by a parish acolyte. Armed with a few slivers of light, she finds a card inside, and a black thong with an imprinted bunny symbol. The card reads: “Hugs and kisses to my favorite niece this special day. Enjoy!”


PC Overhaul

“Your baby crashed because of Linux.”

Roger couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He wanted to look the damn PC technician in the eye, but couldn’t. The fool was staring at the monitor, chewing an (imaginary) piece of gum, pretending to make sense out of the Linux boot screen when it was obvious this git was a Windows-only git.

“You don’t tell me things like that. Linux won’t cause this kind of problem,” Roger said, grating his teeth.

The technician nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. Chew. “You seem to know it —” chew “—so why go to me?” Chew, chew, chew.

Roger wanted to shout something cool and polite that was still shoutable, such as “I’m paying you to fix my machine, not teach me a lesson!”, but settled on punching the PC tower. The thing protested, sounding off a shrill beeeep, then promptly died.

The technician stopped chewing his (imaginary) gum. “What the hell are you doin’?!”

In response Roger seized the PC, walked to the cliff and hurled it down the staircase. The technician’s loud barnyard expletive wasn’t able to mask the crashing sound the PC made.

Roger turned and shouted in his face, “F*ck you!”

Finally, something cool and polite and shoutable.


Head Banger

They called him the proverbial black sheep of the family, a Satanist, a bastard, and sometimes even by his birth name, Damian. They never called him D-Maks, which was bad, because he’d forgive them if only they gave him that littlest and greatest of respects.

After all, being called by the name which lent him street cred is being called king.

“Damian!”

Turning his head to face his mom to the pace of a funeral song was already second nature to D-Maks. He gave her a blank, almost funerary stare to match.

“What time is it?! Why do you always come home when the sun’s starting to rise? You’ve been head banging again with your friends, haven’t you?”

“Well, you should be thankful I still came home, shouldn’t you?” Never mind that rappers didn’t do rock. He’d tried explaining that to her too many times.

“You rude bastard! And what’s that wound on your forehead? You got into a fight, you damn kid! You got into a fight again!”

D-Maks’ ears had enough, and he made his way upstairs to his room. A screeching ululation followed him with every step: Dontyouturn yourbackonmeohidontbelievethisyoubastardyousonofab*tchyou —

He closed the door. He sneered at the thought that she had actually cursed herself.

But then he saw the altar, and the sneer vanished. D-Maks hastily proceeded to prostrate himself in front of the table, bow his head, clasp his hands together. He took a deep breath, then banged his head on the altar.

The crucifix shook. The pain of the previous night’s confession resurrected on D-Maks’ forehead.

“Father, forgive me.” He banged his head again, the crucifix shook again. “Forgive me for my sins, save me from the fires of hell.” Bang, shake. “Forgive me for I do not know what I do.” Bang, blood, shake. “Forgive me…”

15 Comments:

Blogger ia said...

here's to the fearless corsair's challenge. *raises a plastic glass of iced coffee* (i miss it. though i have a very, very bad cold.)

chew, chew, chew.

still can't decide which one's my favorite, but you have to admit that Head Banger is still feel-good (goody-goody?).

7:48 PM  
Blogger snst_blvd said...

head banger got me scared. -_-

8:23 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to ia: thanks, ia-chan. ;) and no! i believe head banger is the most, uh, bizarre (?) of them all.

to sunset_eyes: i apologize if it made you uncomfortable in any way. very sorry.

10:37 PM  
Blogger transience said...

awesome. the damian name shook me a bit, though. i had a thing with somebody with that sort of name. he was goth.

11:30 PM  
Blogger claudzki said...

i wish my uncle was a priest..

..then i get to say nice things to him after mass instead of criticizing the priest's every word..

..does that constitute as heresy? blasphemy? no? damn..can't be burned at the stake yet... :D

12:46 PM  
Anonymous kita said...

now these. these are good. to the point, a point that is brilliant. i like.!

12:58 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to transience: ah. i won't go snooping into that... ;)

to claudzki: hehe. i actually have an uncle who was a priest. chose love in the end, i think.

to kita: i'm very happy that you do. thanks. :)

12:40 AM  
Blogger Senor Enrique said...

Your Sacred Vestments is uniquely interesting. I wonder how you will develop your characters if given the chance to expand on it. Perhaps, you should try intertwining the Omen kid into it, as well as the PC guy.

5:46 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to Senor Enrique: Sacred Vestments is actually my first attempt at writing fiction of such length ;)

About expanding the story, that's a good thought. Seems like Beatrice will become my favorite, haha. Though Damian has most potential to be a very 'deep' character.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Senor Enrique said...

First attempt at fiction? Whoa! I think you have all the elements there for an interesting (even if only weekly) series of say a few paragraphs per posting. I mean, do a weekly episode on a specified day like Marc Cheyry's DH every Tuesday night, which I've suddenly become a fan of because of his twisted twists; excellent TV writing I think. I'm sure you can do the same here with Beatrice and Damian as your main characters, and then expand from there. Request: keep its wicked edgy tone.

7:37 AM  
Anonymous hera said...

the freak was finally unleashed. hehe. or at least the twisted side of the corsarius. and i have to say i love how insanely creative it is.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to Senor Enrique: i meant first attempt at fiction which hovers around 100 words (Sacred Vestments, that is) :) i usually write 2-page essays, short stories, and (gasp!) novels.

i'd love to try doing a weekly Deviations, though I can't promise it. i'm into my last (and thesis) semester and blogging will prove to be a challenge. but it does sound good -- good writing exercise, good way to experiment, good medium for creative madness ;)

i'll certainly try. thank you very very much for the suggestion. and yes, the wicked edgy tone stays! :D

5:07 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to hera: that's...just the tip of the iceberg. i think i can actually put up a separate blog for these devious gems if only I had the time ;) thanks. (and you're back!)

5:11 PM  
Anonymous kai said...

Ang ganda nun Sacred vestments. Nakakatawa lang na playboy pa talaga yun thong. :p

Medyo late ko na na-gets yun headbanger.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to kai: Hehe. Glad that you liked it. ;)

10:03 PM  

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