Five Idiots Gasping for Air

The Journalist

Stop the press!

Make room for this breaking news -- Corsarius Updates Blog, Readers Blast Delinquency. I want it in 72-point Palatino Bold and screaming all caps. Heck, make it the paper's banner!

If anyone thought The UP Parser was late in releasing its first issue of the academic year, then hang me twice. Even though problems outside of our control were the delay's reasons, I believe the weight still lies upon its Editor-in-Chief. Yes, yours truly. And though problems outside of my control were the reasons for this blog's nil output, I believe the weight still lies upon its author. Guess who.

This world should be sued.

The Student

Thesis year. Video streaming, the Rijndael algorithm, eigenvectors, laplace transforms, shift-reduce parsing, syntax-directed definitions, ubiquitous computing, wireless fidelity, binary exponential backoff, carrier sense multiple access, probability mass function, unbiased estimator.

I'm at a loss for words.

The Marketer

Good day, sirs and ma'ams! I am a reluctant technopreneur from the land of the tongue-twisted, fidgeting geeks (otherwise known as Computer Science), and I am here to promote our product, "S^infinity" -- S raised to infinity, Service raised to infinity. That sounds good, doesn't it?

Three "S" words are of chief concern to you, dear sirs and ma'ams. The first word for today is "Shoot". Shoot your videos using your cameraphones, while I'm shooting down my writing career. What the hell am I doing entering this and that marketing contest? And actually surviving them?

The second word for the day is "Say-what?" Third word is "Sanavagan!". Fourth word is "Sally-sells-seashells-by-the-seashore." Wonderful, no?

Sinfinity. S raised to infinity, Superficial Supereminence raised to infinity.

The Histrionicist

This still applies:

The Corsarius is stressed.

My threshold for pain and hardship is going way off the charts. Now I know -- I'm a certified masochist.

Right now, if Corsarius was a nation, it'd be ravaged by a plague, battered by typhoons, splintered by a civil war, and besieged by an ally state turned bitter rival.

I've been called many things in my life -- liar, defensive, good-for-nothing, belligerent, selfish, bad-boy. A few of these words have been thrown at me with more ferocity and frequency lately than ever before. I don't know if I'm all of these, some of these, or none of these. I can't tell, and I don't friggin' care.

The world can flaunt its eloquence by expressing its disdain of me in a thousand words. I can summarize all those words in one -- painful. But who am I to convince the inconvincible, to talk to the un-listening?

The mantra here is to accept. Pain is a wonderful sensation (as long as you're feeling it because of your own misery, not the ill luck of your close ones). Accept pain, accept it with exceeding openness.

Because deep down, I know I only wished for good things.

The Person With the Pen

Get these four blog-hogging fools out of the way, and let the pen speak for the Corsarius.