Saturday, May 14, 2005


How do I get spurned by thee? Let me count the ways:

The Immaculate, circa 1997

Over the phone line. "I'm sorry, Corsarius. You see, I've got a guy friend. He's so kind to me. He buys me ice cream everytime."

I say, "Aw, shucks."

The Angel, circa 1999

Written on perfumed stationery. "I'm sorry, Corsarius. I never thought you had those intentions for me. I just want to be your friend. I mean, we can still be friends, right?"

I rip the letter to shreds.

The Princess

Strike One, circa 2002 - Dark hallway in PSHS, half-wishing something nasty would happen between us. But -- "I'm sorry, Corsarius. I just don't want to have a boyfriend, and you're not of my religion."

Wish not granted.

Strike Two, circa 2003 - Araw ng Kagitingan, UP Diliman. On the main library's steps. Sunset. Romantic. But -- "I'm sorry, Corsarius. I should've told you this a year ago. There was no spark. Nada. Nunca. Wala. Now get out of my sight, you sorry git."

I get out of her sight. Head unbowed, chin up to the dying sun.

Still romantic.

The Corsarius, circa 2005

"I'm sorry, too, Corsarius, for having been a lousy suitor unworthy of your swashbuckling title oozing with machismo -- or so I imagine."

Oh joy.

And it's not even Valentine's Day.

At least, it's the fourteenth.

[A crap of a space-filler, methinks. Rummaging my mind for some bright idea. Till then.]


Anonymous kai said...

I won't spurn you if you promise to give me Mentos at lease thrice a day. Kimpipoy! I love your sappy posts. :D

Oh no. Who is Immaculate and Angel? Drat. Clue!

So parang ngayon ko lang na-gets yun part about Araw ng Kagitingan. :P

4:19 AM  
Blogger ia said...

Ano 'to? Depression? And I thought you specialized in ripping the past away from yourself.

But it's like second skin. It will have repercussions like these. Dead things creeping up on you.

Oozing with machismo?



Sorry. I had to recover from that.

Chauvinism, perhaps. Hmf. =P

10:23 AM  
Blogger transience said...

i think you need a hug. so *hug*

chin up, kiddo. i need you peppy.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to kai: I'd give you Mentos at least thrice a day if i always see u around :D

kimpipoy? sappy posts? grr. hehe.

The Immaculate was a friend in our ABS-CBN Summer Talent Workshop. The Angel know who she is. Clue: 2nd year HS. :)

4:38 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to ia: no. it's not depression. more of an amusing way to look back at stupid things. a stupid amusing way, that is.

after all, i was still affected by these 'things', i wouldn't be able to write about them in such a detached and emotion-less way.

this is how i rip the past away from myself. :D

4:41 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to transience: *hugs back* thank you so much, dearie.

and yes, my chin is already up. hehe. let' see...maybe "The Mighty Mouse Part 2" would be a peppy post? :p

4:44 PM  
Anonymous kai said...

Puta, wrong grammar pa ako sa unang comment ko. :P Anyway, 'di ko talaga maalala si Angel. Ay teka, may idea ata ako... ay hindi - wrong guy. Clue pa!

Uy, alam mo bang talent ako ng Talent Center? I auditioned, I think ha, for Ang TV or Star Cirlce Batch (basta yun kay Patrick Garcia). I was about to delve into showbusiness tapos biglang Pisay screw with my destiny. Bleech, dapat nagartista nalang tayo. Naging Luntian pa sana ako (Huwaaah!)

I love your angst, OK lang naman maging emo once in a while eh.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to kai: huh? wrong 'guy'? baka naman wrong 'gal' ang ibig mong sabihin..gagawin mo pa akong bading, grrr. hehe, kaklase mo sya nung first year HS! ano ka ba.

aba, pareho pala tayo. at alam mo bang dapat may sarili na akong show sa dating PTV-4? (nagyabang daw) mala-Bayani ang dating. sidekick ko ay isang parrot. pero dumating ang Pisay..and the rest is history.

hehe. moody lang kasi talaga akong tao. :D

8:16 PM  
Anonymous kai said...

Wrong guy as in may naisip ko si Minik tapos hindi pala ikaw yun guy na involved, si JC. kaya wrong guy. Hahaha, ano ka ba, di ka bakla!

Si... True love ng bespren ko? Or Sampa ba yan?

Parrot! Aiyee, sayang naman! Pisay panira ng buhay. You could have been the next Atom Araullo! Gwapo ka pa naman! Pero setback nun, di natin makikilala ang isa't isa. Hahahaha. :) We would have missed some crazy moments!

May depressing shit pala ako. Takits tayo soon. Kelangan ko magsenti. :P Naku, baka Bipolar ka :p

8:31 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to kai: ah. true love ng bespren mo? parang ganun na nga ata. basta, yung babaeng kinabaliwan ng mga 2ndYear guys noon. di sya Sampa. :)

wag mo naman ako ikumpara kay Atom. iba naman yun e, crush ng bayan, hehe. malayo ako. pero masaya pa rin naman ang Pisay :D

sige nga, kwento ka ng 'depressing shit' minsan over the phone. wala naman ata sa LJ mo. btw, what does 'bipolar' mean? sori, ignorante, hehe.

12:44 AM  
Anonymous kai said...

Eh di dahlia? Hahaha, gets ko na nga!

Sorry flood of comments! :)

Bipolar... manic-depressive!Depressed minsan, tapos sasaya, tapos depress ulit. Ano ka ba, naalala mo nun may meds ako dati kasi clinically depressed ako? Yun ang sakit ko.

Ayoko maging depressed sa journal, maraming makakabasa. Yehey!

7:20 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to kai: oks lang no, hehe. ah, yun pala yun. pero hindi ako bipolar. dati ata, nung HS at early college. pero di na ngayon. :D

8:36 PM  
Blogger Sk8RN said...

I am all about try and try again. I've been rejected quite a bit in my lifetime, but it is only because I am brave enough to approach people whom I'm interested in and let my desires be known. So much kudos to you for speaking your intentions to each of these sad folk, whom I am sure are missing out on somethin' amazing.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to sk8rn: yes, that's the key phrase: brave enough to approach people whom I'm interested in and let my desires be known. :)

and kudos to you, too, for standing up for your own desires. too bad some people don't appreciate such bravery, haha. :D anyway, what wasn't meant for us isn't meant for us. making a move is a lot lot better than asking one's self, What if I...? What would've happened?

9:39 PM  
Anonymous green said...

"Now get out of my sight, you sorry git." -how harsh.....................

10:55 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to green: oh well. ;)

11:37 PM  

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