Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Corsarius XX

1985. People have written about their visions for the roll of years. Take Orwell’s 1984 for example. Well, they should’ve written something for 1985.

May 1985, to be exact.

It’s the tenth day of the month. Some hospital in Quezon City, the Philippines.

Amidst the tension in the ER, the silent apprehension in the mind of a thirty-something man, and the shrill shrieks of a thirty-something woman, a new Filipino is added to the Swarm.

But God decides to make him stand out from the rest.

He says, “Give this boy some spunk, some funk, some luck. It will be a good brew. Then give him a cool weapon, let’s say, a flaming cutlass. In that way, he can set sail and conquer the world in his own little raiding ways.”

And so —

“Wait, let’s give him one more thing,” God adds. “Give him some angst. Yes, angst. A little angst along the way goes a looong way.”

And so at 8:52 PM, it becomes official.

The Corsarius is born.

*****

I've come a long way.

First, I had a single-digit age. Then I went on to 10, 11, 12. Finally, I became a teenager; this-teen, that-teen. I technically became an adult when I hit 18. Nineteen, that's a transitory age; I barely had enough time to realize that I was 19. I know, I know -- I had one whole year. But a year can zip past you faster than a Maglev train.

Now, the '1' has been replaced by a '2', and the suffix 'teen' casually dropped.

The Corsarius is now 20.

I've come a long way.

Many events have transpired, especially in the last three years -- my stay in college. Those events are so abundant, that they’ve made me forget all those childhood memories.

Yes, the Corsarius is an asshole. He shrugs off the past, to ruthlessly focus on the present.

But God always finds a way to make a person touch base with his past.

An hour ago, I attended mass with my dad at our parish church, Our Lady of Fatima. Being the one-week fiesta of our parish, the song for the Virgin Mary of Fatima was sung by the choir at the mass’ end.

As soon as I heard the first note, my heart started to melt.

That song, the one which I haven’t heard for several years until now, was my perfect childhood song.

When I was in my mid-elementary years, my neighborhood ‘gang’ used to attend the daily summer catechisms at the same church. Before the day’s catechism, we would go around Barangay Don Manuel, picking the best flowers to offer later to the Lady of Fatima (at the catechism’s end). Yes, we were all little boys, carrying around bougainvilleas from street to street, but so great was our respect –- not devotion, that’s for adults old enough to understand its true meaning –- for Mother Mary.

At the day’s end, while we gave Mama Mary our day’s collections, we would sing a hymn for her -- yes, that very same song.

So you didn’t expect the child Corsarius to be this cheesy?

I didn’t, too. That’s why as I sang the hymn, I struggled to keep my voice from breaking.

This day, as I truly become an adult, I find a young Corsarius tucked inside the old -- happy, innocent, and unperturbed by the harsh realities of life.

*****

There. It’s 8:52 PM.

It’s official.

The Corsarius is now twenty.

18 Comments:

Blogger transience said...

why do i suddenly feel so old? heh. glad you're here though. it wouldn't be the same.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

i do suddenly feel old.

hey, thanks. :D and you know, it wouldn't be the same without Transience. and i'm speaking for a lot of bloggers, haha.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

8:52 PM. Interesting.

It's not the the number that makes the man. Or the kid.

12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Buhawi Jaaaaaaaack! :)

Kitakits tayo one of these days ha. :)

sino akoooo?? hahahah

11:46 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to the anonymity goddesses: i know who you are. both of you. :D and yes, only one person calls me buhawi jack, hehe.

anonymity goddess 1, well, i'm not a kid. ;p

anonymity goddess 2, thank you very much! pag nagkapera ako, ililibre kita, harhar.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous hera said...

twenteen ka na pala, corsarius! had i known this, i would have approached and greeted you in advance during the blog summit. hehe.

happy birthday kiddo! ;)

2:22 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

that's a nifty age. twenteen! hehe. that way, i can keep calling myself a teenager while being a true-blue adult. or so i'd imagine myself to be.

thank you so much, queen hera. :D

6:03 PM  
Blogger kuya said...

-->
This day, as I truly become an adult, I find a young Corsarius tucked inside the old -- happy, innocent, and unperturbed by the harsh realities of life.
<--

This is the most important: You're happy! I certainly agree with your friend saying that the age does not make the man nor the kid. It is what the man has made in his age.

9:33 PM  
Anonymous kai said...

harhar. naalala mo ba kung saan galing yun buhawi jack? kahapon ko pa iniisip eh. :P

12:55 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to jonas: well, unfortunately, more often than not i find my happiness an evanescent thing. it just so happened that i just wanted to become happy on my birthday. after all, it's my day :D

to kai: can't remember! :( siyempre yung buhawi, alam ko...yung jack yung hinde, ehehehe.

1:01 AM  
Blogger ia said...

-disjointed lengthiness ahead-

1985 is a wonderful year, cause most of the batch oc peeps were born then! yes, yes, that would include you. yes you... (cough cough)

i suddenly felt old and hilaw (not raw) when i turned nineteen.

still, it's not the age! i guess we just like having affinities for certain numbers at times. i never understood favorite numbers but i 'started' to gain consciousness of one. for no reason at all! (ask jeric or carlos my hotmail email address before. haha.)

and then i learned from you what 'funk' actually means. wow.

own little raiding ways? what about upset/upcet! naku.

i think i feel like that during christmas. when all's supposed to be right with the world and you feel like an angel singing...

that, and everytime i hear 1/3. especially live performances. *melt*

it's a good ability, to gift yourself. (i don't even know if that's grammatically sound.) and for you to make you happy.

take care of yourself, kid. happy birthday.

1:20 AM  
Anonymous AuroraBorealis said...

hey hey!

how'd the birthday go? and the iblog summit? hope you'd write about it.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to ia-chan: yes. 1985 is a wonderful year!

but you know, it was still a thrill to have been a teenager. you were midway to being an adult, but certain "liberties" still applied to you, given that you were still a "teen", if you get what i mean. :)

i'll take care of myself, to the best of my abilities. and you too. thanks, ia-chan. :D

3:37 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to aurora: hehe, can you believe it? i spent part of my birthday studying for an exam. grr. ;) pero ok na rin, i guess.

btw, about the iBlog summit, I posted something about it on the Parserblog. The post also contains a couple of links to great iBlog photo albums :D

3:54 PM  
Blogger -ms jumbled mind- said...

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:33 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

hey miss jumbledmind, thank you very much!! :D

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

elo! belated!

dont worry, you'll be a teenager again...that is, when you reach the age 113, hehe :D

as for now, just say ur twenteen. ;D

10:58 PM  
Blogger Corsarius said...

to anonymous: gee, thanks :D right now i'm wondering who could you be, haha.

113? my gulay, i don't want to get that old. 'cept if they give me some sort of longevity vaccine which would keep me young :p

hehe. yes. i am resolute. when people ask me my age, i am going to say -- Twenteen. ;)

11:22 PM  

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